Fondamental

(ˌfʌn.dəˈmen.təl)

1. adj. Basically likeable.

Panality

(pəˈnæl.ə.ti)

1. noun Banality upon an epic, universal scale.

Webence

(w'ebəns)

1. noun The degree to which one's internet output impacts upon other internet users. Calculated using a complex algorithm involving Facebook friend total, Twitter followers minus number followed, and blog post divided by number of followers.

(Contraction: 'web' + 'presence') 

Bantum Physics

(băn'təm fĭz'ĭks)

1. noun A branch of physics derived from the hypothesis that the universe is made up of countless, incredibly small chickens.

Deicision

(dā-ə-si-zhən)

1. noun A decision made by a supreme being

2. noun A paradox derived from the physical impossibility of cutting God into pieces, and yet requiring Him to be present in all positions in a particle-based Universe. Requires preposition that physics applies to supreme beings. Made moot by the discovery of wave-particle duality (quantum physics).

Tüber

(tü-bər)

1. noun A very, very large potato or yam.

Aviarice

ā'vē- 'ə-rĭs

1. noun Immoderate envy of another's aviary (including its contents)

2. noun Envy of a fellow ornithologist's tick-list in a bird-spotting book

3. noun Generic term for one of a number of plastic-based rice substitutes served to economy class airline passengers
 

Preferdactyl

(prĕf'ər-dăk'təl)

1. noun One's favourite pterosaur

2. noun Someone who has an unusual, possibly creepy, interest in your fingers

Quotor

(kwōtôr)

1. noun One who periodically throws precisely-memorised book or film quotes into ordinary conversation. This typically causes a mixed reaction of confusion and annoyance on the part of the recipient, upon which the quotor feeds like a parasite feeds on its host. When one quotor engages another, a Quotor Standoff ensues, with the loser declared the first person to fail to recognise a quote, and laughed at in a ‘braying donkey’ fashion. Quotors typically choose as source material films or books which have attained ‘cult’ status; oft-quoted films are, for instance, the Star Wars trilogy (the original trilogy, of course), and the Cohen Brothers’ The Big Lebowski. Books chosen include The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and any of the Discworld series of novels.

(see also World of Warcraft)

Sesquipedestrian

(sĕs'kwĭ-pə-dĕs'trē-ən)

1. adj. Prone to uttering long words very slowly

2. noun Someone who walks the streets uttering increasingly long and complex words, often at significant volume

Ambihextrous

(ăm'bĭ-hĕk'strəs)

1. adj. Capable of generating and casting spells or curses with either hand with equal proficiency

2. adj. (slang) A transgender or transvestite witch who dresses as, and performs the duties of a warlock, or vice versa (See also transhexual)

Hypotheoretical

(hī'pə-thē'ə-rĕt'ĭ-kəl)

1. adj. Of such a tenuous nature that neither hypothetical nor theoretical will suffice.

(See also hypertheoretical)

Emperiment

(ĕm-pĕr'ə-mənt)

1. noun An experiment designed to test an empirical relationship.

Stegular

(stĕg 'yə-lər)

1. adj. pertaining to members of the Stegosauria sub group of the Late Jurassic Epoch

2. adj. having features characteristic of a Stegosaur

Moddle

(mŏd'l)

1. noun the unsteady, rolling gait of an overweight internet discussion forum moderator

2. verb to walk in such a fashion

Deiscussion

(dē'ə-skŭsh'ən)

1. noun discourse on the topic of one or more supreme beings

Tom's Fictionary, an online fictional dictionary

Welcome to Tom's Fictionary, a dictionary of words which could exist but, beyond the realm of the typographical error, do not. Fictionaries take many forms, but this one will concentrate on words which don't officially exist, which I have 'developed'.

I'll ignore all sorts of classic dictionary customs (such as, for instance, alphabetical order), but you'll recognise things like pronunciation guides and verbs and things like that which no-one but the word geeks really understand.

Feel free to use any of the words you see here - all I ask is that you use them with the meaning with which they were created.

Thanks,

Tom